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Sorry about the hiatus. Lifeapos;s been busy. So far Iapos;ve moved across the continent, restarted school, and had to make due without a printer, let alone a scanner, since the beginning of summer. Now Iapos;m all settled in again, scanning abilities intact. (second cronenberg reference not intended).

There is some bigger news, however. Iapos;m working on the website, slowly but surely. I still plan to feed to LJ and all, but now Iapos;ll have my own domain with plenty of goodies to offer.

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I found my motivation. Not where i should have. Iapos;m not happy about it.

i hung out with a boy this week. Iapos;m finding myself really attracted to. The only problem is iapos;ve had a boyfriend for almost three years now. But i canapos;t stop thinking about him. Itapos;s driving me nuts. I havenapos;t heard from him since thursday and it was very distant. He was out of town this weekend so i wonapos;t see him till moday and he knows iapos;m with someone. Itapos;s just driving me insane.

iapos;m probably making a whole issue out of nothing, but itapos;s made me want to get to the gym because he likes these little tiny girls.

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Sharan here, and here is finally home.� I have one more business trip this year, an Independent Scholars meeting in San Francisco, and then I can stay home until February.� Maybe I'll actually get some writing done.

Cara, I did see you across a crowded room, but couldn't get any closer.� Sorry about your French flu.� Two years ago I came down with a stomach flu in Paris.� Everyone seemed to be getting it so I could have caught it anywhere.� But I remember sitting on the toilet in my apartment with a mixing bowl on my lap because I didn't know where the next attack would come from and thinking,"Here's the famous writer in her glamorous life in Paris."� Sigh. Perhaps I should let people have their illusions.� I only wish my life were as diva-ish as is rumored.

However, Bouchercon was lovely.� I finally met Charles Todd, whom I admire both for his wonderful books and for the fact that he can work with his mother.� I love both my mother and my daughter but I can't see us turning out anything more than a dinner together.

I didn't go to as many things as I should have.� My editor and I are old friends and we hid out to chat about things that have nothing to do with publishing.� There were a number of panels that I missed and wish I had gone to.� I agree that the best thing about the conventions is meeting new people, especially fans.� So many of them have much more interesting careers than mine.

So now I"m back to editing my friend Mary's life of Heloise as Abbess, a work left almost finished when she died.� Her scholarship intimidates me no end, but her syntax is astonishing.� I really believe she thought in Latin and translated word for word into English.�

Sorry, I'm drifting now.� It's awful that it's taken me a week to recover from a convention.� I can't possibly be getting old.� Except for my knees, I'm sure I'm still twenty.

Sharan

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Hi there,

I recently went back on the Pill. My period has been rather wonky for a variety of reasons, and the doctor who did the Pap and all that told me to begin taking the pack even though I was not on my period. When I asked when I would be protected, the nurse at Planned Parenthood told me "after you have had your period after the first pack of pills."

I did some research online, and was told 7 days after beginning the pack. So I really would just like to make sure that I am protected (Iapos;m about to start the non-hormonal reminder pills from my first pack). I hope this isnapos;t a stupid question, but I really appreciate answers

=)

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Had another dream last night. During my Reiki session with my pal Emmi she said that I needed to open myself up while I sleep to let my spirit guide better ... Err... Guide .. Me. So as I drift off to sleep and watch the colors and shapes behind my eyes, I just drift off and think to myself that I am open and ready to see... I usually donapos;t remember my dreams and the ones I do are usually pretty disturbing. Last nights dream... Iapos;m not sure if Iapos;m upset by it or not.

Amber and I were in a house I didnapos;t recognize, one with stairs (our house is a ranch style). There were a couple other people around that I didnapos;t actually ever see but I knew they were there. As I climbed the stairs I watched from a 3rd person point of view and I wasnapos;t walking up the stairs I bent down on hands and knees and crawled up. I realized I was very old. My dream self looked at my 3rd person self and said I do this so I donapos;t fall - I donapos;t want to break a hip or something.

When I got to the top of the stairs I went into a bedroom that had two beds - one was really similar to our bed we own now, the other was smaller and lower to the ground - this is the bed Amber as in and she was sleeping. She was older, too. If I had to place an age, I would go high 80apos;s. She was beautiful with her long silver hair, laying there asleep. She looked like something out of a book - describing the matronly grandmother full of inner beauty and wisdom that just radiated from her.

I watched my dream self watch her and somewhere in here perspective changed and I was in my dream self body. I sat down on Amberapos;s bed and she woke up and looked up at me and smiled. She reached her arms up and gave me a great big hug (like she does every morning before I go to work now) and a gentle kiss, full of passion and love. We sat there just looking at each other for a minute and then she said, "Ok - I have to go, Iapos;ll talk to you soon."

I just looked at her and begged her not to go, I told her I want to talk now. I donapos;t want to wait and talk to her later. She said not to worry, it wonapos;t be long before weapos;d be together again, this time forever.

Thatapos;s when I woke up.

The dream makes me happy knowing (i think) Amber and I have that much time left together bud sad at the same time.
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The past few days have been working at the Sexy Girl event. Got more compliments than I can handle and had to give a lady the address of my hair stylist. Cute. Been very tired though...Yesterday, ended at 7pm and met Audrey for dinner @ Sushi Tei. We ate so much cooked salmon and yet I had enough space (not really, but I made space) for jelly, prawn crackers, lollipop. Hehe. Audrey was amazed at my propensity for junk food. It was her treat, and I must say, what a treat man

Went back to her place to try some Royce chocs. I am now a Royce convert although I still say Haighapos;s is pretty damn good too. We talked shit and watched BTVS. I love her for loving BTVS. I am still Queen of BTVS trivia and collectables. :D Heh. Her mum came home and she is just lovely. Itapos;s nice to have a mum so open and amiable...her mum also made me nasi bryani with chicken and peas,...which i also made room for. I am so going to put on weight after my partying sessions and ytdy Anyway her mum told us ghost stories from her days as a nurse and police personnel. Creepy. I like Quite disturbing is how she wants to help matchmake me after hearing about my singlehood. I didnapos;t try to explain that it is by choice...merely went along with the act of desperation and hammed up the nobody-wants-me theme. Honestly, Aapos;s mum is hilarious and soooo nice. Went home half past twelve, entirely happy.

Came back and msgapos;d/called S. Seems he is in a mood. The apos;picturesqueapos; India turns out to be less apos;picturesqueapos; and slightly more depressing. I really hopes he gets past India. I do not mean to forget the girl with no legs and begging, but that he can use it productively. I say productively because he has some ideas about fb messages that frankly scares the heejeebies out of me. I got angry at how he belittled my own experiences and deems me too callow to understand how fucked up the world is. I might not have travelled to the pits of the world, but I do know about it. The intensity of my knowledge while dimmer than his, should not be discounted because of my age or my limited travels. Anyhow, this whole thing just reminds me of how I should start doing something again. Grant a wish or Project can. Or AFA. I have been very remiss. Maybe Iapos;ll donate my stuff to salvos. The NUS fb group posted a trip to cambodia...

Today I slept in. Mum made me lunch and chocolate cake for dessert. FATNESS. Then I caught The Lady Eve. One of the two b/w dvds I bought while I was out with Amber, which seems like a long time back. Eve is quite a boring movie...dialogue was lacking something and plot a little tad bit too formulaic. Will watch Hamlet (Sir Olivierapos;s version) after I clear out my comic stack. Ryan gets my comics when he turns 13 :)

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I had a seriously epic dream that would make a GREAT film. Or novel. NaNoWriMo, here I come I wrote it down and fell asleep again, and I dreamt I was at uni and I was shagging someone, but it was horrible because I didnapos;t know any shagging-words in English Which I do IRL, having read as much smut as I have, but still. They donapos;t say things like that in reality. And my English was horrible like when I was ten and I only muttered and stuttered and made an arse of myself. "I want- er, thing. You know?" Gaaaah.

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